Do you remember?
by AnastaziaIngrid
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter never really got along. This is a letter from one to the other a few years after they left Hogwarts. One-shot. Rated M for a swear word or two and mention of an eating disorder.


Do you remember Harry? The first time that we met, it was at Madame Malkins. You walked in, small and excited, scared and intimidated. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to get to know you, to become your friend. I offered you my hand, with a few choice words, to help you make your decision.

You rejected my hand, and retorted with fire in your eyes. I knew from that moment, the moment you stood up to me, like no one else had dared to before. I just knew our lives were going to revolve around one another.

I told father of our encounter later that day. He told me to get in to your good graces, to learn everything I could about you. The manic glint in his eye told me that he wanted the information for all the wrong reasons.

I decided then, that I wouldn't put you in danger like that. I started to be mean to you, but I noticed at first that you were still nicer than you should be. I was mean and cruel, because to be anything else would make me a spy and evil. I didn't want that.

Our entire school career, we were cruel to each other, both of us said things I'm sure neither of us are proud of. I certainly did some terrible things.

I know you think I didn't notice Harry, but I remember every single time you looked at me. Every single time your brilliant green orbs found me. It doesn't matter that you were invisible and under your cloak. I could feel it Harry. Every single time. How could I not notice? You stared at me constantly.

Do you remember when I broke your nose? I was so disgusted with myself that I took it out on you. I could feel you staring at me, remember? So I took my anger at myself out on you. I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to know I was forced in to taking the mark. Oh, the things they made me do. Anyway, on the train, I was 'showing off'. I was secretly so scared of what you would think of me. I broke your nose so you wouldn't know how scared I was.

All through sixth year, I knew you were following me. I wanted you to catch me. I wanted you to make it all better. I wanted you to save me, and thwart the plan that was. Unfortunately, you never stopped me. Dumbledore died by Severus' hand no less. I couldn't kill him Harry, and I'm sorry he died. I'm sorry anyone died.

You know, I don't think I could have ever done what you have. I don't think I could have faced one of the most evil wizards in history. I would have cowered. I would have run away long ago, or killed myself. Actually, I am too much of a coward to kill myself. I would have stayed dead though, I wouldn't have come back. You came back. You came back and killed him. No one would have blamed you. No one would have called you a failure for dying. Well, no one who was worth anything.

Harry, you came back for us all. You died and you came back. Everyone you saved owes you their life.

You remember your eating disorder? I watched you waste away. I followed you everywhere that year. I watched and listened to you binge and purge. I saw you the first time. I listened to you. I was shocked that you were succumbing to this demon, when another was after you. I ended up copying you. I put myself through the same torture. Purging after every meal. We both wasted away, until we were just skin and bones. No one paid us any mind. Of course everybody gave you attention, but no one noticed how small you were getting. After you sought help, so did I. You started getting better, and so did I. I still purge every now and again. I hate it, and I don't want to, but it is expected in some families. I was happy you finally sought help Harry. You saved me then.

Harry, I know the real you. I've known the real you for longer than you can imagine. I'm probably the only one who knows the real you. All anyone else ever saw was hope for the future. Someone to save them. I saw a scared and hurting little boy, who wanted nothing more than to live his life as he wished. A boy who had not one, but two horrible lives, where people expected things from him, with nothing to give in return.

Harry Fucking Potter. I have one more thing to tell you.

Harry James Potter, I love you. I always have, and I always will love you.

I'm sorry things were the way they were, but please know, that everything I did, I did out of love for you.

Draco Malfoy.


End file.
